About An Eye

Contents

1 Everything has eyes 2 .Function 3 .Special Eye Powers 4. Eye Upgrades 5 .The Eye in Chemistry 6. Proper Care of the Eye      7 The Eye in Action 8. In Popular Culture 9. Eye also see

1.Everything has eyes.

Even squirrels have eyes. There once was a farmer called Deck; he had eyes and the world was forever changed. Paris Hilton appears to have one eye that is slightly smaller than the other. It is in fact a congealed piece of cheese that became lodged in her eye socket during a masturbation/ eating session. It is unknown at this time whether the cheese is swiss or american. Black dicks have a wide variety of sizes that make your pupil go really big, or just plain small.... you decide if you like them or not.

2.Function

Scientists have been studying the eyes for centuries, and are no closer to discovering the mechanics of seeing than they ever have been. Oh, they talk a good game, they say shit like "rods and cones" and "optic nerve" and "color spectrum" and so on, but it still just boils down to "Light goes in one end and pictures come out the other."Let the experts take care of your eyes.

3.Special Eye Powers

“Sam tears cured polio”~ Emotologist on sam “cannot cry! Impossible!”~ Average 14-year old boy on sam

Throughout history, some individuals (both human and non-human) have been able to do more with their eyes than just see stuff:

Superman's heat vision can cut through anything. Rocks, concrete, bank vaults, you name it. I wish I had heat vision. Also he has X-Rated Vision, which means he can look through women's clothing and stuff. I'll bet that was pretty cool in the 50's, before the internet and all the bitchin porn available now, but just looking at naked chicks is kinda boring. Certain characters from Naruto such as Neji Hyuga also share this X-rated vision.

St. Peter's Basilica can turn you into stone by looking at you. Sam also has, but is not limited to, these powers.

That blue chick in the Powerpuff Girls had ice vision. Bet she could chill a beer with just a glance.

My grandmother knew this old Italian Lady who had an evil eye and if she looked at you with it, you'd die in like a week.

Hurricanes get their power by combining the eyes of all their previous victims into one big eye.

Miraluka Jedi Visas Marr has a power called Force Sex through empty eyesockets

Pride from Fullmetal Alchemist can see the future with his left eye

Some people can see using them.

Sasuke, Kakashi, and Itachi from Naruto have a special eye power that can be used for anything from copying their enemies' moves to date rape.

Originally thought to be a feature unique to John Paul 2.0, recent evidence suggests all popes have some degree of eye beams.

If you wear magic glasses you have the power of four eyes

Medusa: her gaze turned people to stone.

Sylvester Stallone: Had an Eye of the Tiger that would, under the right conditions play a song that would help him train for big fights, especially for his fight against Superman in the movie "Rocky XXX: This Time, He's Pissed!"

4.Eye Upgrades

Super contact Upgrade Downside Advantage Cost Sniper Contacts You can't have Dialated vision Spot Osama bin Laden's gang of Terrorists and snipe their head off their shoulders 10 FUCKING MILLION DOLLARS!!!! MILITARY GRADED. I CAN FUCKING AIM A SNIPER RIFLE OK?!?!.Super Contacts You can Burn out Your Eyes. You can Burn out Your Eyes. You can Burn- I mean, $2,000.     By burn I mean put an IV of feces into your eye.Eye Replacements Sometimes your new eyes will pop out from time to time.    If you get tiger eyes, you can sees in the dark, Roar!!! 'Bout $60 for raccoon eyes and $1,000,000 for Zebra eyes.

Knee Surgery  Patients complain that they find no difference with their eyesight. Every operation left patients with working eyes.   $5,000-ish.Spoon-Gouge  Some loss in focus.     Patients claim that they can watch T.V for hours without hurting their eyes!    0.01 cents, but you can get it for free with a home procedure.Gamma ray booster rocket. Microwaves can sometimes accidentally activate them and possible impalement might occur. Great for quick, speedy getaways. Free (home procedure)Pancake pupil replacement Eyesight crispy and the butter makes contacts slip off.If the optional laser is added, you can look at an empty plate and send pancake spores to slowly grow a new pancake (incubation time: 9 weeks.)    $10-$15 depending on the flapjack brand.

Eye Beams

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Eye beams are so powerful that they drain all your energy when fired, which means you need a constant supply of very nutritious foodstuffs to be able to use them.   You can finally compete with kittens in "laz0r competishuns".   Depends on the brand; certain Eastern European firms sell eye beams for $150 and up, but a professionally installed pair of eye beams costs at least $2,500.

5.The Eye in Chemistry

If you pour chemicals like selenic acid in, on, or around your eye, the eye is likely to Melt, forming Semen and Meth.

6.Proper Care of the Eye

Keep your eyes clean. Remove them twice a week and rinse them off in clear, cool water. Never use hot water or your eye will cook like a hard-boiled egg.Do not squeeze the eye.Do not use the eye as a cooking utensil except in times of national need.Eyes do not bounce like other spherical objects; the word splat comes to mind.Never write on your eye with a sharp pencil or fountain pen. Use a soft brush dipped in non-acid ink, or a gently rounded felt-tip marker.

Keep hot water off of your eye. Don't let this happen to you. Is this saw eye an eye saw? or has it been attacked with one?Take care when shaving the eye, especially around the cornea.Always blink when looking at the sun.Don't run with scissors.Do not shampoo too vigorously.Don't run with an eye saw.Be careful when skullfucking, take your eyes out before each session. We don't want to get hair in our eyes now do we?Scrambled eyes don't taste good; it's better to serve them sunny-side up.Scottish Formula 1 legend Jackie Stewart has the smallest eyes in recorded history. In fact, the apparatus used by Ernest Rutherford when splitting the atom was a later model of the apparatus used by Jackie Stewarts mother for applying his hayfever eye drops when he was a child.If you have wide eyes like a wide-eyed goblin then you need to get restrainers or go to Asia for a while.Be sure to update the drivers for your eyes every evening for optimum vision. This also protects against eye viruses, worms and midgets. Tip: they hide in the blind spot, then BAM! they getcha.Poke it. G'wan, you know you want to.Recalibrate your eyes using a very powerful laser daily.Dentists recommend you change your eyes every three months or so.

7. The Eye in Action

Your eye is amazing! It can see colors and gay people.  See? Of course you see! Or do you sea?

8.In Popular Culture

BS television company is run by an enormous eye. The eye also has parts in many popular films as a stunt eye during supposed closeups of characters' eyes. Many movie actors now have clauses preventing their POP TART eyes from being seen on screen, causing a headache for the guys at CGI, due to their scientologist beliefs.It is rumoured that if you pause the movie The Lion King at just the right time, you can see Simba's eye.

9.Eye also see

With your eyes By looking With your glasses on.Eye examination